How to empower your adult child in their job search
President Obama landing on the White House lawn in Marine One. Photo: Jennifer Clinchy
Helicopter parents, this post is for you. I once called a White House applicant to invite them for an interview. They answered with confusion. It soon became clear that their Mom, a self-professed Helicopter Parent, had written their application and applied for the job on their behalf. The candidate did not receive a job offer.
At the time, I thought it was an anomaly. Since becoming a career consultant, however, I have seen how increasingly common it is for parents to involve themselves in the job searches of their adult children. It can be painful for parents to see their beloved child struggle to find employment. Before you take over their job search, however, consider instead how you can help them help themselves.
Here are tips to support their job search while still letting them take the lead:
Recognize their effort, rather than focusing on results. Receiving numerous rejections or being ghosted after an interview is discouraging. Instead of counting job offers (or the lack thereof), you can commend their perseverance in applying for a certain number of jobs each week or taking a new step in their job search.
Help them understand that networking is not asking a stranger for a job. Real networking takes investment and trust-building first. Expressing genuine interest in someone’s career path during a casual chat or an informational interview can go a long way.
Encourage them to treat others with respect, no matter their seniority. A senior White House official told me and my cohort of new hires that he’d end up working for us someday because that’s how D.C. works. I also heard about a EPA manager who didn’t treat her intern well. That intern babysat for the EPA Administrator’s family. When the Administrator asked how the internship was going, the manager did not receive high remarks.
Suggest that they explore volunteer, community, and other roles where they can gain professional skills and reference. Part-time work can turn into full-time positions. Volunteering for organizations with missions that align with the person’s professional interests can build a network of people who will refer that person for a job when one becomes available.
Invest in their future by gifting them professional resume writing services. The first time a prior client asked to hire me to write their adult child’s resume, I thought it was a remarkable gift. It’s an investment that grants your child the tools and knowledge to propel their own career forward. With a strong resume, they land their next job based on their own accomplishments and experience. That’s a win for everyone.
Being a parent and wanting the best for your child is nothing new. As you consider how to support your adult children, empowering them to succeed in their job search on their own terms can set them up for a fulfilling, lifelong career.